Death By Sex: 5 People Who Died While Doing It
If you're going to die, you might aswell die with an erection. Here are 5 (almost) unbelievable examples of death by sex.
Death by Electric Nipple Clamps
I'm personally not into the whole masochism scene, but if you get your jollies by having someone punch you in the scrotum then more power to you. Unfortunately, the whole "pain for pleasure" thing does have its risks, which 29-year-old Kirsten Taylor found out first hand when her husband electrocuted her nipples until she died. Out of embarrassment, her husband said that her death had been caused by a shock from her hair dryer, but later admitted that the death had been caused by "electric shock sex" after the police presumably questioned why she was drying her nipples.
Death by Horse Penis
Ever heard of the old adage "if you're going to have sex with a horse, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH A HORSE"? No? Well, that's probably because I've just made it up, but that still doesn't mean that you shouldn't take note. Having sex with a horse is silly idea for two reasons.
1: A horse's penis is very big.
2: Your anal canal is comparitively very small.
In 2005 a man let a horse have its sweet way with him but, after opting to not receive medical treatment for the internal injuries he received as a result of the ill-advised tryst, he later died from a perforated colon. As a result of his death, bestiality was made illegal in Washington so… yay?
Death by Piano
San Francisco's Condor Bar was the first officially sanctioned topless bar in American history, but that's not the interesting part of this story. The interesting part of this story is that Jimmy Ferrozzo was crushed to death while having sex with dancer Theresa Hill atop a baby grand piano.
The piano was a main feature of the bar, as it would be lowered from the ceiling every night while a dancer shook what her mother gave her on top of it. Bouncer Ferrozzo decided that the piano would be a great spot for some after-hours nookie, so he and Hill got down to business on it after closing time. Unfortunately, the couple accidentally hit the hydraulics, causing the piano to lift up towards the ceiling, eventually crushing Ferrezzo while Hill lay beneath him. Hill was trapped beneath the dead Ferrezzo all evening until the janitor found her in the morning.
Death by Funeral Hearse
When you escape the irony of two people dying whilst having sex in a funeral hearse, you then start asking questions such as "why were two people having sex in a funeral hearse?"
The reasoning behind Jose Agustino Noha and his girlfriend bumping uglies in a funeral hearse is unknown, but what is known is that they died due to being suffocated after leaving the car running in their sleep whilst carbon monoxide was leaked from the engine.
Death by Neo-Nazism
What first comes to mind when you think of foreplay? Oral stimulation? A hand job? Having your girlfriend pretend she's a neo-Nazi that has sentenced you to death by hanging? If you answer 'No, No, Yes' to those three questions, chances are that you're 38-year-old Simon Burley. Well, you would be Simon Burley, had Simon Burley not died after engaging in some rather eclectic roleplay that saw him tie a noose from his neck and hang from the ceiling, while his lover Elizabeth Hallam pretended to be a neo-Nazi hangman.
Unfortunately for Mr. Burley, the knife he had given her to cut him loose was blunt, so her desperate attempts to cut him down whilst he was being strangeled to death failed.
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