Mandatory Funniest Tweets to Wrap the Week of 7-24-2020
Wipe that sweat off your brow, we made it through another week of madness. More and more people may be putting Twitter down to escape from the daily doom updates, and in doing so they could be missing out on some of the hilarity that is still out there trying to make the world not seem so glum. Thankfully you have us, and it’s Friday, which means it’s once again time for the funniest tweets of the week! If you were unfortunate to miss our last collection of tweets, not to worry, you poor bastard. We’re here for you if you need us. Now, catch up on all the Twitter insanity here then be sure to follow us on Twitter @Mandatory.
This is the most Texas thing I’ve ever read. This guy has to be related to Yosemite Sam. pic.twitter.com/GyYsHmbOHW
— Ronald Funches (@RonFunches) July 23, 2020
"Does he love me or does he not?" is a question I often ask my dentist about my other dentist.
— Dana Whissen (@DanaWhissen) July 20, 2020
“People once believed that when a surfer wipes out, a crow carries their soul to land. But sometimes, something so dank happens the surfer can't bail. Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that surfer back to put the heinous things nug.” pic.twitter.com/xMmCDT5IwB
— Brian Lynch (@BrianLynch) July 19, 2020
I guess from now on they are going to have to include “don’t publicly well-wish accused sex traffickers“ in the orientation video they show new presidents
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) July 21, 2020
Really thought my “Washington Burly Ball Handlers” idea had a shot. https://t.co/DORJI2w0IY
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) July 23, 2020
I'm excited for humanity to end. Should be fun.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) July 21, 2020
— Kelsey Dickerson (@KelseyLee_D) July 14, 2020
This cop looks like a videogame protagonist from 2002 pic.twitter.com/5leipcMah3
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) July 20, 2020
Breakfast, lunch and dinner no longer exist in quarantine. They have been replaced by my favorite meal “constantly eat until I sleep”
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) July 21, 2020
it’s not cool to call kellyanne conway ugly let’s see you try to do your makeup without a reflection
— Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) July 21, 2020
they've had enough pic.twitter.com/qK3wngDJnB
— Pablo Rochat (@PabloRochat) July 21, 2020
Looking forward to this week's daily coronavirus task force meetings / campaign rallies / presidential ego massages
— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) July 20, 2020
every picture of sean hannity looks like someone just flipped a switch on his back to power him down pic.twitter.com/kHITlj5r7T
— Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen) July 21, 2020
Cue the opening shot for future documentaries about the year 2020. https://t.co/uVduoHqJwg
— Dan Rather (@DanRather) July 23, 2020
— Mega Ran (@MegaRan) July 19, 2020
Shilling Some Beans: The Internet Had Its Phallic Way With Ivanka Trump Modeling Goya Beans
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