Charmin’s Pooptime Pal Robot Is the TP Retriever Pet Voted Most Likely to Record You at Your Worst This Year
We’ve all experienced that moment of cosmic dread while in the bathroom at least once. You grope blindly before turning to find — gasp — there is no more toilet paper. If you’re a social squatter, perhaps you can call a non-squeamish friend or lover for assistance. But what if you’re a secret pooper? If you are, then a humiliating duck walk or nasty stain on your knickers are your only options. That is, until now. At CES 2020, Charmin unveiled the latest advance in toilet tech since the hot sauce enema: the Rollbot.
The Rollbot is a self-balancing automaton with a pretty cute hexagon bear face. It connects to phones and is capable of transporting a single roll of toilet paper at a time. Presumably, that should be enough for one trip, but the design does beg some serious questions. For one, is a private pooper every truly alone with this BB8 knock-off staring from the corner? Is it watching us? We examined this bidet buddy and other weird bathroom tech to let you know what to keep and what to flush.
Photo: TeoLazarev (Getty Images)
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Every year in early January, companies debut the coolest new gadgets and tech at the Consumer Electronics Show, or CES, in Las Vegas. Many of the items go on to become household items, while others are destined to be the next Betamax.
Techhead's Dream Come True
Some really cool new tech debuted at CES 2020, though most of it was not meant for the water closet. There was a headless robotic cat, Instagram-friendly smart TVs, temperature regulating beds and even a laptop that has a bendable screen.
Normally you don’t want to make a splash in the commode, but Charmin did just that at CES 2020. They sought to answer many intractable bathroom issues in their Go Lab at this year’s event.
Do Not Go In There
Have you ever entered a bathroom that stinks so bad you vomit a little in your mouth before fleeing unevacuated? Charmin’s brain trust has the solution!
SmellSense is a system that warns you when it is safe to enter your bathroom. It may sound too good to be true, but it’s just simple science.
How It Works
By measuring the levels of hydrogen sulfide, carbon dioxide and other gases released from the human stargate, this device calculates the stench coefficient of your gaseous emissions.
Never Miss a Play
Have you ever been to a sporting event but missed the best play of the day due to a No. 2? Once again, Charmin has the solution.
A Simulacra Potty
The V.I.Pee is a premium port-a-potty equipped with Occulus Rift S Virtual Reality. You’ll never miss another home run or touchdown while squeezing one out again.
Perhaps the direst of all toilet emergencies is running out of TP in your hour of need. But fear not, as again the poop professors of Charmin are on the case.
If ever you find yourself sans paper, you can summon Rollbot with a touch of your phone. Its self-balancing technology combines with a really cute bear-like face to create the bathroom R2 unit you’ve always dreamed of.
Does It Watch You?
We were unable to determine if Rollbot has on-board cameras capable of streaming your most personal time. Not that it matters since your smartphone is already doing just that.