Get a Timer For the Long-Pooper In Your Life (It’s $12 Well-Spent)

We all know that someone who spends a lifetime in the bathroom, regardless of their, um, productivity level. They sit there scrolling through tweets, watching videos, and basically forgetting it’s a toilet not a couch. It’s annoying for you, less than ideal for them, and just plain awkward for everyone if you’re out in public. Help them help themselves with the Toilet Timer.

This hilarious yet handy medical device (yes — medical! More on that in a minute.) is a great reminder for long-poopers to get their business done and keep it moving. It runs for about five minutes before giving them the hint that it’s time to dethrone the throne.

Based on expert advice from a gastroenterologist who called the gadget “brilliant” and said, “I will promote the Toilet Timer in my office,” sitting for longer than three to five minutes on the toilet could give you fissures and hemorrhoidal bleeding, and although that sounds perfectly fitting for 2020, it also sounds sounds super painful. Why go there?

If you fancy this little baby for yourself but the thought of a five-minute limit makes you sweat, take a breath. Made with poo-crastinators in mind, you can ease your way in with the 10 minutes you’ll get when you flip the timer over.

In the end, the Toilet Timer might not speed up the truly dedicated, but it makes the perfect gag gift: Your recipient can actually use it, and it’ll only cost ya $11.99 while it’s on sale for 19% off.

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